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School News Today

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May 2, 2022

School Board Meeting With Zero Drama Very Clickable

The School Board Meeting for Public School Zero last night was marked by zero drama, zero death threats against teachers, zero tearful racist attacks, and zero unhinged moms dressed as a condom to protest sex-ed. Some Board members missed the condom costume which was quite titillating, especially after a protester…

School Board Drama

2 min read

School Board Meeting With Zero Drama Very Clickable
School Board Meeting With Zero Drama Very Clickable
School Board Drama

2 min read


Apr 29, 2022

School Chaperone: Friday Office Poem

School Chaperone Here are some Of the things that they Say never happened In Washington DC But they did One student Disappeared for The worse part Of a day No explanation A girl had Drugs in her bag She tossed them Right before Security, so stupid For two days I slept…

Chaperonedrugsearch

2 min read

School Chaperone: Friday Office Poem
School Chaperone: Friday Office Poem
Chaperonedrugsearch

2 min read


Apr 27, 2022

Free Haiku Template

Free Downloadable Haiku Templates

Freehaikutemplate

2 min read

Free Haiku Template
Free Haiku Template
Freehaikutemplate

2 min read


Apr 25, 2022

Please Don’t Bring Your Child To Work

Letter of Outrage To The Association of Imaginary Schools Human Resources Department: I am writing to protest Take Your Daughter Or Son To Work Day. If this stupid tradition is going to continue, at least make it gender-inclusive and call it Take Your Child To Work Day. Let me begin…

Feminismintheworkplace

5 min read

Please Don’t Bring Your Child To Work
Please Don’t Bring Your Child To Work
Feminismintheworkplace

5 min read


Apr 23, 2022

Meeting Minutes: Friday Office Poem

Meeting MinutesSciku is haikuFor science poems from proseAnswers in versesFirst five syllablesSeven syllables insideSeventeen in allAt the lab meetingI am the secretaryHere is what I haveBob is so boringAnd he interrupts so muchThat I want to dieBrenda’s nail polishStill smells strong from the salonI can’t sit with herBob doodles death…

Andrewholmes

1 min read

Andrewholmes

1 min read


Apr 22, 2022

Controversial Art Photos Comment on Playground, Annoy Parents

Comments have been closed on the Museum of Imaginary Art poster for the upcoming Deiter Reichstag photography exhibit. **Starred Comments** AnthroMama This picture is a totally transparent commentary on the playground controversy at Burning Badger School about whether the kindergarteners should be allowed to climb the unstable 75-foot fir tree…

Barbieart

2 min read

Controversial Art Photos Comment on Playground, Annoy Parents
Controversial Art Photos Comment on Playground, Annoy Parents
Barbieart

2 min read


Apr 21, 2022

Schools Scramble to Destroy Evidence of “Slave Auction” Fundraisers

Michelle Obama’s brother and his wife have sued the school their children attend for various instances of racial bias including slavery re-enactments where the children ran around the campus at night pretending to be slaves escaping the teachers who played masters. Slavery was not a fun game. Making light of…

Chapelschoolslaveauction

5 min read

Schools Scramble to Destroy Evidence of “Slave Auction” Fundraisers
Schools Scramble to Destroy Evidence of “Slave Auction” Fundraisers
Chapelschoolslaveauction

5 min read


Apr 19, 2022

There are Two Kinds of Colleges: Boozer and Stoner

Stoner Versus Boozer Colleges Liberal arts colleges and small universities are closing at a rapid rate due to high expenses and low enrollment (you can track which colleges are closing at this incredibly depressing website). Facing these same challenges, plus significant administrative embezzlement, Fred’s University President recently hired his brother-in-law…

Collegedrinkingandrape

2 min read

There are Two Kinds of Colleges: Boozer and Stoner
There are Two Kinds of Colleges: Boozer and Stoner
Collegedrinkingandrape

2 min read


Apr 16, 2022

Internet History: Friday Office Poem

Internet History Where what is now The washroom and mop sink There was the very first Computer room that actually Had internet for anyone an Undiscovered hinterland for The sloping silent boy and the Girl from chemistry class With the pins and badges That, no, weren’t hip then Just little…

Computerroom

2 min read

Internet History: Friday Office Poem
Internet History: Friday Office Poem
Computerroom

2 min read


Apr 15, 2022

Alum Organizes Rogue Freshman Welcome To Housing Project

When Fred’s University turned down his offer to host a freshman get-together in the unfancy neighborhood where he grew up, alum Darius Richardson decided to host his own event. While the Admissions Office used an email campaign and mailed paper invitations to the official Fred’s welcome event for students in the…

Bipocstudentsalienated

4 min read

Alum Organizes Rogue Freshman Welcome To Housing Project
Alum Organizes Rogue Freshman Welcome To Housing Project
Bipocstudentsalienated

4 min read

School News Today

School News Today

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Overpaid CEO Association of Imaginary Schools

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