School Org Chart Shows Front Office Lady At Top
In a recent study of Public School Zero conducted by nearby Fred’s University, students and teachers were asked to fill in an empty Organizational Chart for their school. Results were upsetting to the Principal, who appeared on almost none of the Org Charts submitted by study participants. Instead, Fran The Front Desk Lady emerged as the understood leader of the school, with the Ashley Senior Class Queen Bee, Cindy The Controlling Parent, and School Dropout Doug The Drug Dealer as next in command.
The Project Manager on the study attempted to reassure the Principal that at most schools power is held at the front desk, and that it is rare for a school community to see a Principal as the actual leader of the school. The Project Manager further explained that while cruel popular girls like Ashley wield enormous influence in their senior year, most end up pregnant within a few years and do not ultimately pose any threat to patriarchal power. However much the Principal might resent Ashley, she will soon discover the system she thought she controls really controls her. As for Doug, the Investigator owes him money and refused to discuss Doug’s role at Public School Zero, beyond saying the students admire his swagger, his fierce footwear and his sense of humor. Fran The Front Desk Lady privately agreed with the Project Manager that, with his sensible shoes and slow wit, the Principal will never hold the place in the hearts of Public School Zero that good-natured Doug does.
On her weekly trip with him to Subway for tuna sandwiches, Fran talked over some of the issues at the school with Doug, including the rat problem at the loading dock where Doug often stationed himself, the asbestos circulated by the attic ventilation fan in the Old Building where kids go to vape, and the possible dementia diagnosis for senior math teacher Mr. Variable, whom Doug often finds wandering around the bus parking lot. Doug agreed to talk to Mr.Variable’s daughter about getting him help and suggested that a change in the dumpster pickup schedule could alleviate the rat problem. Fran and Doug decided that it might be best for the kids to start vaping in the old steam tunnel, given the hazmats in the attic area, and Doug promised to discuss it with Ashley the Queen Bee after cheerleading practice.
In an act of transparent vengeance, the Principal moved to have the Queen Bee suspended for dress code violations, reported Doug the Drug Dealer, his parole officer, and made some nasty comments on the Controlling Parent’s Facebook page. The Principal also attempted to lock Fran out of key parts of the Public School Zero database but discovered he did not have the relevant passwords. A security alert let Fran know that the Principal was trying to open sensitive documents, and she added two-step authentication via text messages to her cellphone. Reading over his private emails, Fran discovered the Principal’s other schemes and both reinstated the Queen Bee and arranged for bail for Doug the Drug Dealer, who is engaged to her niece. After a series of phone calls from the Front Office, Cindy the Controlling Parent quietly formed a Search Committee for a new Principal.
Also Read: Hands Off Dress Code Violations
